It was a cool fall day, the leaves painted the sky a fiery red, yellow and orange. The wind blew as the fallen leaves danced across the streets. I planned to go into the city with a friend, to watch a hockey game at an overcrowded bar downtown, but my trip was delayed by some Christmas shopping with my mother. I couldn’t rush my time with my her, I told him. I would come meet up with him later. My mother and I finally wrapped up our visit. I scrolled through my phone through the names. I wanted to watch the game but I didn’t want to go alone. I called up a friend, a Bruin’s enthusiast, she’ll want to go, I thought to myself, and moments later we were in my car singing 90’s songs off to go watch some hockey. Now this day seems just like any other day, spending time with my mother, making plans with my friends. The normality of it all, sounds rather boring and mundane. So why I choose to mull this day over in my mind,time after time, because it was the day that led me to meeting you.
My two friends and I crowded around a small table, Max had a gleaming smile, most likely do to the almost empty pitcher of some frothy light beer he had consumed within the hour, or perhaps because Boston was 3 points in the lead. He was always such a great friend, a loyal friend. So when I received a panicked text message from our friend Rachel, he was the first one to take action. She was on the other side of the city and needed a friend to rescue her. Actually rescue her, she went to a function with a guy she met on some dating website and it had turned sour. We quickly arranged our plan. We shouldn’t all pay for the subway I said, and me being more of a suburban girl, I didn’t really “get” the system anyways, and Max lived not too far. It was settled, without much hesitation Max threw on his leather coat and headed out to save the day. That left me and my blonde and beautiful best friend alone in the city. We knew the city, we just didn’t come here often, we wanted a change of scenery and dodged our way through the wave of black and yellow jerseys to the door.
We crossed the busy street and wandered aimlessly around, we looked like tourists, I am sure of it. We stared up at the pubs, the restaurants, two indecisive girls alone on the sidewalk… “Hey!” someone broke our silence. “Where are you two going?!” someone asked, I spun around, searching for a familiar face, someone from our high school days, maybe a college friend who was visiting Boston, but I found no one I knew. I looked at Aleah to see if she had found someone when she scanned the street. A young man approached us, “Where are you going? You should come with us!” We both hesitated, “We’re okay”, I stumbled over my words, “We just are looking for a place…” Honestly, we didn’t have much interest in spending time with a stranger, but for one reason or another, as he walked away, “Wait up!, I said. “We’ll come”
There were about five or six guys in the party, just out to have fun. I had great and hilarious conversations with many of them, but then there was you. To be honest, I don’t know what it was about you that intrigued me. Maybe I thought you were a challenge because out of the entire group you seemed to be the quiet one. So, I asked you for your name, and you smiled. That was it, the first thing I knew drew me to you, your smile. We had a great night, we connected better than I thought we would, better than I had connected with someone in quite some time. My friend had confided in one of yours, so the four of us ended up heading back to his house together.
We spent some time talking in his living room, but we were all half asleep. He told us his roommate was out of town so we could sleep in his room, which made you totally uncomfortable. You didn’t want him to come home, you didn’t want to be in someone elses bed, but you came with me anyway.
We continued to talk until our words faded into sleep. When we woke up, everything seemed so normal. To be honest, I couldn’t believe you respected me enough to just lay beside me and talk. I hadn’t ever think a man would honor me in that way. Our conversations carried through the morning, and I was off. Back to work, back to my normal, back to a life where you didn’t really exist.
I thought of you, and I was trying not to, but then you asked me to see you again…
A Red Sox game…I honestly hated baseball, but I felt that you could make anything enjoyable. So I agreed. You were a gentleman, you held my hand, you made me laugh, you drove me back to my car, instead of making me take the train. But again, just like the time before, you left and life resumed. You were pulling at my heart strings, there was so much excitement and apprehension all at the same time.
We entertained some conversations via text and ended up seeing each other again. You invited me out to your part of town, and introduced me to your friends. It was then that the apprehension started to dwindle and the excitement took over. I thought that you must have thought highly enough of me to invite me in to your personal life, enough to introduce me to people you cared about. The end of the night in your car, talking about things that mattered most to us, you started telling me about your world, and your life. You kissed me, I didn’t want to stop. I didn’t want to leave your car. I didn’t want to leave you because I knew there was a chance that this could be the last time, simply because that is the nature of these things today. Unfortunately, when I closed that car door behind me, the door closed on us. Well in my mind it did, your obscure texts and snap chat messages are anything but fulfilling. But this is what we are, this is what we turned out to be.
…Four years had passed since that Fall day in Boston. But, for one reason or another we still lingered on in each other’s lives. We would have short blips of communication. A text, some comment on snapchat. Nothing real, just child’s play, run of the mill small talk.
We agreed to see each other again. The Celtics were playing a big game that night, so you invited me to watch it with you. Driving to your rural home was not something I had planned on doing earlier in the day. I wasn’t dressed how I wanted to be, I had no time to do my make-up or my hair. So, I just got in the car and drove. Two hours later, I was at your door. I walked in, and the first thing I saw was that smile, I could never get enough of. All the feelings came rushing back. After a night with you, we were still at a standstill. I gathered my things, and made my way toward the door; knowing when it closed behind me I would probably never see you again.